This statement has burrowed it's way deep into toxic positivity culture.
The truth is we don't know if it's right or not. Nobody knows why or how anything was created, or what is keeping the wheels of existence turning.
Not religion. Not science. Nothing can truly explain it.
So maybe everything does happen for a reason. Or maybe nothing happens for a reason and it's all random chance. Or perhaps it's somewhere in the middle.
What is more important is that you can learn from your experiences. That's what a lot of people mean when they say "everything happens for a reason."
They mean that whatever you go through in life, all of it presents an opportunity to grow and learn.
That doesn't necessarily mean you are a better person for being abused. It might simply mean that the abuse helped you better prioritize your own needs.
Could you have found a way to prioritize your needs without being abused?
Abso-fucking-lutely.
Did that abuse NEED to happen for you to learn a lesson.
No fucking way.
But once things have happened, we cannot change the past. We cannot go back in time and create a different reality. We are only able to move forward.
So we learn from each experience.
Pretending that terrible experiences are sent to us for a reason is incredibly disempowering. "I needed to learn X so I had to go through Y." It's only a few steps away from telling you that you deserved to abused.
But once the past is the past, how do you choose to move forward?
I challenge you to empower yourself to learn from your experiences. Whether they were pre-destined to happen to you, or if it's all random chance, what I do know is that you can learn from your experiences.
But that doesn't mean everything happens for a reason, simply that we can give reason to any of our experiences.
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